Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Blame Game

The conspiracy theories begin. "That was a LOT of damage done by ONE SHOOTER? Who drove him there?" (WRH). "Well it's not just health care. Lotta issues going on in this guy's head." (BFN) "Right wing radio and right wing blogs express violence openly, without apology." (Kos)

Blame the media, blame political issues, blame the right wingers, blame Wall Street, blame the media, blame poverty, blame wealth, blame bullying, blame Palin.

How about blaming the perp, Jared Loughner. Blame the household that shaped him. Blame the political correctness that says we cannot cause anyone to feel bad about themselves, thus tolerating dysfunctional behavior from toddler to old age.

Everyone looks for Loughner's motivation behind the killings. People like Loughner have no motivation. They have hatred and targets. He targets the government, targets the system, targets Giffords. He is not mentally disturbed, he is not brain damaged. He is not a product of the local sheriff. Jared is the product of his parents and himself.

A few decades ago folks like Loughner would have been considered "retarded" early on and kept on a short leash by family, straightened out by family, or institutionalized. Thanks to political correctness and parental consent, emotionally retarded kids are now Adderall-ed and Ritalin-ed, excused, catered to, and pushed along until they can be dumped into adulthood, emotionally botched, sadistic, and without conscience. There's a whole lot of 'em. Their targets are usually family, friends, neighbors, or random strangers - not high profile politicians.

This is what you get when you have a majority of society willing to encourage everyone to have a chip on their shoulder, to whine that life is unfair, aiding and abetting folks to act on impulse and addictive lifestyles (addiction to drugs, TV, food, sex, shopping, gambling, whining). It's what you get when you tell parents little Johnny's behavior is not their fault when it damn well is their fault.

I know, I know, blaming parents is an outdated belief system.

(Link from a reader: Newsy.)


kf said...

I completely agree with you about blaming parents and I felt a wave of vindication - I was one of those who laughed at, mocked, scorned and otherwise resisted the "quality time" theories prevalent during my child-rearing years. Give 'em quality time and let the screen/toys/extra curricular activities do the rest. I couldn't afford the special activity costs and planned time blocks seemed ridiculous.

Children need attention, period.

A few years ago when I tried substitute teaching I could see how well the quality time thing worked out. So many children out there who are in need of someone to just listen to them and watch them do things as they learn. "Good job" (alone/as an indicator) will never replace a genuine smile or nod of appreciation and enthusiasm.

And it doesn't stop when they turn 16 or 18. . . I dare not count how many times I've said to my adult child (when asked, of course!) "She's not the girl for you, son".

Kate-A said...

kf - right you are. Children need love and attention, at/tending. 24/7. In the "best" of homes today I see plenty of "activity" but little genuine interaction.

We had more laughter and communication around a board game, fishing hole, or the dinner table than any other planned paid "activity." My rule was always everyone shows up for dinner no matter what, that's how I was raised. Now I see tv commercials about setting down to dinner as families and I thought - people have to be told to do that? How dumb have we become?

The kids don't ask for advice as much now, especially the older ones (30-40) but they sure call incessantly to vent when they have a problem, and I'm okay with that. ;)

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