Homies

Some folks believe the "Community Reinvestment Act", or the perversion of said act, helped create the mortgage/lending/housing/banking crisis - others say the CRA had nothing to do with it. As always, just depends on if you lean right or left as to who you want to blame.

Although the big boys, Bank of America, JP Morgan, Meridian, etc. received "outstanding" ratings for their participation with the CRA - they claim they had nothing to do with making loans to high risk customers. No sirreeee. And the activist superheroes who push the CRA also had nothing to do with any crisis either - they seek only to do good for the huddled masses.

Community redevelopment is a noble profession, and it pays well, skims well. What exactly does community reinvestment mean, have you seen such a thing in your neighborhood? Shouldn't America by now be filled with shiny renewed communities after 3 decades of reinvesting billions in them?

Here's what I have witnessed in our 'hood. The city rulers, all white with the one educated black man, receive funds from the feds, sometimes trickled funds from the state who received them from the feds and trickles them to the county who trickles them to the town level, sometimes "grants" via feds, state, county, town trickles - or any order thereof, there's so much trickling and tickling and granting and agencies and acts - it's headachey trying to keep track of who is doing who.

Anyhoo, the city fathers partner with a black community nonprofit nongovernmental group to set up office to help low-income blacks attain the American Dream here in Pofunk Heights. There was no such community black group so the city council with the one educated black man scour the 'hood to find a couple or three who can open an office - name it with something that includes "Institute" in the title. The word 'institute' can sound high-minded as in Carnegie Institute, or crazy as in the County Institute for the Criminally Insane.

Part of the community reinvestment monies will go into office space, equipment, overhead, and salaries for a Director, a secretary, etc., for the Institute, hired from the more stable members of the minority community who aren't busy, i.e. don't have a life. A board of directors will be found - 6 of them, 2 old scammers from the 'hood, 2 educated black women who live on the white side of town, and 2 guys who I swear were dragged in from the corner craps game.

The local "Institute" is/was run by Mr. R., a married Vietnam vet receiving a lifetime PTSD disability check while also working full time and retiring from the local utility plant with pension; he's also a part-time preacher with his hand in the collection plate and his pants on the bedpost of the deacon's wife. He hired his daughter Nina as secretary. She never questioned the Institute's credit card bills with his charges for a Harley motorcycle and 6 laptops. They were gonna do good deeds - put black folk in their own homes. Pat their own backs, what's a little harmless cycle on the side ... hehehehe jokes Mr. R. fat belly heaving, puffing on a cigar.

Mr. R. and Nina. Between the 2 of them they embezzled close to a million. Hehehehe. Mr. R. built a new home, not on the minority side of town, but over with the white folks - and now drives a new Hummer and his wife a new Explorer. He also now owns 3 rental properties on the minority side of town. Yes, community reinvestment worked well for Mr. R. Not so well for Nina - she bought lots of clothes and took trips but when the Institute began to go broke and rumors of an audit circulated, she left town. Mr. R. washed his hands of the situation - he didn't do nuttin' wrong, ain't gonna blame him for this mess.

But I digress. Next - buy the 20 unit abandoned housing project on the minority side of town - it's structurally sound, brick. Refurbish and resell to minority or low income homeowner wannabees.

Hire contractors - all local white boys because the two black contractors are not licensed or really competent; they have made a good income working for the local slum lords (black and white slum lords here) - you don't have to know what you're doing to fix things for slumlords. The city and the bank holding the funds of course get their percentage in administrative fees, permits, etc. etc. Who owned the abandoned projects? Well, the bank, and who are members of the banking community here - yep, the city council (except the one black man). And who were the project managers, you get the idea.

The "Institute" opens the door and holds "credit classes." Sifting through the wrecked credit history of every black man, woman, and child over 18 in the 'hood. Pickings are slim, very slim. Most potential home buyers are female as most grown black men are in prison, on parole, out on bail, still living with mama, or terminally unemployed.

Many of the women are disqualified as they're too old raising too many grandbabies and have transient family members who occasionally need a place to flop - the homes will only have 2-3 bedrooms and the city will be enforcing zoning laws about how many can live in a single family dwelling - the city won't really enforce anything because we have a lady down the street in a 2 bedroom house with a dozen or more people running in and out - but the city will initially pretend it's going to abide by the law - besides, just put down on paper it's you and a couple of others, and the rest can move in when you do.

Damn hard to find young working minority couples here, and those stable minority couples with jobs are not going to live in that section of homes on that side of town.

Damn hard to find low-income minorities here who even want to own a home. I mean, the self-appointed do-good "left and progressive" benefactors have been telling you for decades that the American Dream is nothing more than greedy white folks capitalist b.s. ... now they want you to buy a piece of the b.s. in one of their programs?

Okay, so the "Institute" and city fathers will put single working mom in these homes (and her new boyfriend). Just have to counsel them on cleaning up the credit scores. Pay off those old phone bills, heating bills, low-limit credit card bills, etc. And after those are settled, pay off or deal with the really old ones that mama made when you were 10 and put her phone and utility bills in your name.

So now we are down to maybe a dozen who could eventually qualify for a home loan - and that's stretching and bending the qualifications to fit just about anyone who can show up at the closing to sign. After all, these homes will sell for maybe $20k and with the new and lax rules of no down payment, low credit scores, and limited work history and enough fudge - voile, the community will have reinvested in the American Dream. Jaqueeta and Shaniqua are homeowners. As are born-again "Track" and the couple from out of town who are unaware of what they've bought into. The "Institute" even managed to slide in a couple of grandmothers and their gang of descendants.

Although a home in the new named "Pine Oak" section is valued at a mere $20k I'm certain when the trickling and activism at every level is accounted for - each one is a million dollar home.

Oops, forgot to tell the homeowners there's such a thing as regular home maintenance, general repairs, yard work, new landscape rules to live by (dead washing machines and parked cars in the yard are not allowed). Insurance, taxes, 'fraid so. And when the city wants to pave the alley, do you know who has to pay your portion? Yep, cough it up.

Guess what!

For sale - must see, refurbished project suitable for single family dwellings, priced to sell. Great income investment opportunity. Won't last. Contact First Frivolous Bank or R.U. Insane Community Institute.