Arrr Me Matey

You are being lied to about pirates - or so says Johann Hari. According to Hari these people (pirates) "have an extraordinary story to tell - and some justice on their side."

The defense of piracy by the criminal elements of the progressive movement claim pirates are pirating because bad people are dumping toxic waste and trawling in Somali waters - hence justice is on their side. Hari and ilk give new meaning to the word poopdeck.

I read AllAfrica regularly and have not seen anything on toxic dumping as the excuse behind multi-millionaire ransoming Somali pirates. Nigeria did have a group threatening to shut down an Italian oil company for dumping waste in their community, and Uganda protested e-waste being dumped locally. Kenya, Somalia, and Ghana have officially complained to the UN about illegal trawlers. Somalia worked out a deal with Yemeni fishermen who were often caught trawling in Somalian waters. It seems most of the Somali coastal poaching has been by fellow African fishermen.

Hijacked ships are usually hundreds of miles out, not the 12 mile coastal territorial limit for Somalia, although initially hijackings were closer to shore, and blow me down, they were not fishing boats. Yachts and cruise ships are also targeted now. I guess success breeds escalating and expanding business. In the last 24 hours these extraordinary pirates have hijacked in the Gulf of Aden a Lebanese cargo ship, a Greek bulk carrier, and 2 Egyptian fishing ships (Egypt has to go through the Aden Gulf to get to the Indian Ocean, poaching or not).

Part of Captain Phillips Maersk Alabama cargo was food aid for Kenya. How does that pertain to dumping/trawling?

Where has the $100 million (preferably paid in crispy U$D) from piracy fiscal year 2008 been spent? Given to Somali officials for the cause or given to the Somali people? Me thinks not me landlubber friends.

Johann also says "Pirates were the first people to rebel against this world. Once they had a ship, the pirates elected their captains, and made all their decisions collectively. "

Yep Bubba, pirates were egalitarian, socialists. Never mind that such notables as Laffite, Hawkins, and those Barbary Johnny Depps also dealt in the slave trade, they were democratic rebels amongst one another, and a historian or two claim some pirates "took in escaped African slaves and lived with them as equals." Mighty white of 'em, aye Bubba matey?

And what would excuses be if not the usual 400 or 500-year-old excuse of "What I did was to keep me from perishing. I was forced to go a-pirating to live." Surely the gentleman o' fortune Bernie Madoff and lily-livered bonused executives feel the same way today - they were just forced to go a-livin' higher than ye average perishing pirate.

Try as I might me barnacle encrusted biscuit eaters, I cannot make the connection between kidnapping for ransom and legitimate "protest".

Reminds me of brothers in the '60s who robbed armored trucks and claimed it was for the "cause," or the SLA who kidnapped Patty Hearst and demanded $2 million in food ransom for the poor of LA. Many poor had enough sense to be horrified and refused the food because they valued human life more than a sack of ill-gotten groceries.

But, my spongy Bubba baggy pants, that was in the days before so many folks bought into the liberal/progressive idea of criminality is okay if committed by po' folk against rich folk. Yo ho ho.