The Dung and the Feckless

During the second term Clinton scandals the public watched government teevee, avid fans of a high-level soap opera, the Hillary and Monica and Bill triangle. No face to face girl fight in the corridors of the White House, but all the entertainment of sex, adultery, lies, potential wreck and ruin, how it began, how would it end, as the world churns.

Phone sex and a blue dress DNA. Where were you when Clinton wagged his finger with "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Millions who participate in fellatio and cunnilingus could now, by presidential definition, claim innocence because it ain't really having sex Joe Bob. And men could tell their other significant other "the girl is … just … here with the pizza."

We'll remember the oft broadcast Clinton and Lewinsky hug, where all the world could see the adoring radiant face, shining eyes, of a girl ecstatic, in love. Little is drearier than a player caught playing and the silly female who thought the relationship would go beyond tabloids to a little house with picket fence; hilariously disgusting, sympathetically pitiful. Tune in tomorrow for the next cliffhanging episode as Hill, Bill, and Moni search for tomorrow and fill the days of our lives.

No Cleopatra and Mark Antony, no King Edward and Ms. Simpson, no Tracey/ Hepburn. Just a sordid soap starring "White House Hillwilly" Clinton and "Chubby Lolita" Lewinsky, tattling and taping by Linda "Shitty Friend" Tripp. And a cast of thousands to sell it, hate it, blame it, laugh, joke, distance themselves from it, debating heads shouting one another down as the wad-shot heard 'round the world became of utmost earthly importance.

But while the public was occupied by the angle and curve of Clinton's penis, debating what a lie is and when a lie is a lie, and what the meaning of 'is' is - what was really going on? What was going on when blewinsky was going down. What were the ruling elite up to as the masses were regaled with news that the rich and famous eat pizza, lie, crotch dive and spit like the rest of us. Were they planning the events and positioning the leaders who would take us into the 21st century? Directing our sideshow as they prepared the 9th month, 11th day in the 1st century of the new millenium? If so, there's a pattern here.

No major sexual scandals of course, because everyone knows republicans kill and eat their mates after mating. No … republican puppets prefer plumbing diversions with leakers and sneaky peter spygates rather than the liberal jock and jaw peckerdillos. Can anyone image Tricky Nixon or Ron and Nancy having toe curling orgasm? Or even "Pickles" and GW? Of course not. No … republican presidents are sexless. (Blame that on republicans presenting themselves as godly and gods do not hump and bump.)

But the other similarities : the calls for impeachment, the probes and investigations (Ken Starr = Patrick Fitzmas), the same concentration on arguing the question of when 'is' a lie a lie, same pols pandering their part to convince us they're on top of things, look busy, the peons are watching. MSM doing its part; reporting might be, maybe, could be news told by high official anonymous sources, to a panting public with a boner for blood, preferably Bush and Cheney's, for war crimes and misdemeanors, or Middle East blood for some of the thirsty (the same ones who are godly).

What might the ruling elite be planning for the next episode, since they seem to be presenting the same old bread and apparently captivating circus.