Your Attention Please

All this chatter about illegal snooping and privacy rights. What percentage of America honestly wants "privacy?" (Privacy being defined as unobserved.) Ninety percent, seventy percent, sixty, fifty, thirty ? To the contrary – Americans crave, demand, attention.

Millions of Joes and Janes will gloat over their minute of TV time. They will ham for any camera. Camcorders are recording the saga of their lives for the funniest, extremist, or dumbest home video to show the world.

Americans go the farthest for attention; it's a book and movie deal. They will scalpel their features to look like Barbie and Ken. They will stage themselves the victim of kidnapping, rape, other crimes. They will drive their toddlers into a lake for a man's attention. They will drop a skirt or shirt or underpants for more attention. America is a nation of Ripley's Believe It or Not hopefuls. A land of wannabee Guinness jugglers. Look at me, look at me is the national anthem.

Across the nation, in supermarkets, malls, waiting rooms, folks will tell their intimate and not so intimate life stories to total strangers. If they can corner an ear they will tell the details of their recent gallbladder surgery, their spouse's bad habits, their child's emotional problems or his genius, the condition of their 4-legged pets.

Across the nation, the affluent and not so affluent, will rack up credit cards to give Baby a 16th birthday party complete with hired paparazzi. Baby is vamped, ramped, and as tramped as Paris Hilton. Celeb for a night. The center of attention.

America elevated porn from skanky women to the girl next door who wants attention. Stuff every orifice, fake an orgasm – it's art. Fame and money, appearances on Oprah.

Americans purchase cars, homes, surgeries, clothes – with one thing on their mind – attention. Look at me, look at me, I am bigger, better, richer than you. We have two families here in Podunk who drive Hummers; they're famous now and always get attention when they cruise Main Street.

As I write, there are fools performing in email and on phone, hoping their chatter will bring the authorities to the front door. Using that silly list of watchwords floating around the internet, hoping the feds arrive with Joe Blow's 5 minutes of famous. Bored silly Americans looking for an incident to fame.

A nation of adults with an adolescent mentality – who's leaders might nuke the world just for the attention. A nation which has always spied on its citizens whether they knew it or not.

Which ever party holds power gets to spy on the opposition – and on a handful of folks who might pose a threat to the system, but no genuine worry there as the system is sewn up tighter than the badge on a UN beret.

It's not as though Rev. Jackson will lead anyone to the promised land, and poor whites don't have a "leader," … well unless they think Dean or Kerry or Gore or Feingold or Kucinich or a Clinton will come to the rescue.

And fool, the government already has everyone's personal information. Just ask the IRS, your employer or landlord or banker or Census taker. You might be off the radar if you're long-term illegal, homeless, or a member of the out-of-sight rich.

So of course the "left" and others will make a big issue of data mining/spying when most Joes and Janes care not at all if big brother is saving all those calls from folks on their cell phones wandering in Wal-Mart looking for syrup and trash bags.

Because Joe and Jane don't want privacy – they want an audience.

(p.s. KAB is open to suggestions on how to get the attention I deserve.,)