Elasticity

TEHRAN, Iran — Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has ordered government and cultural bodies to use modified Persian words to replace foreign words that have crept into the language, such as "pizzas" which will now be known as "elastic loaves," state media reported Saturday.

…In other news, US pResident George Bush and Condi Rice (world's first android without sex organs) have modified the Anglo language with "slaughter, murder, war on the Arab world" to be replaced with "freedom" and/or "birth pangs."