"Real Deal" Mwahahahaha

Aug 10, 2006 (AP)— The "plotters" were attempting to commit mass murder "on an unimaginable scale." The plot was "sophisticated" and "international" in scope, according to American Homeland Chief Chertoff.

As many as 50 plotters may be involved. Fifty? Fifty patsies? LOL. No wonder they were caught. Cells are supposed to be small as in 5 or 6 and have no operational knowledge of other cells. And cui bono from attacking Joe Bloke and Joe Blow?

Chertoff said the plotters were in the final stages of planning. "We were really getting quite close to the execution phase," he said. Hmm, I bet you were Mikey.

"The plan involved airline passengers hiding masked explosives in carry-on luggage, the official said. "They were not yet sitting on an airplane," but were very close to traveling, the official said, calling the plot "the real deal."

Liquids are banned from carry-on luggage and cannot be taken through security checkpoints. That includes drinks, toothpaste, perfume, shampoo, hair gel, suntan lotion and similar items. Drinks purchased in the airport cannot be carried onto flights.

Also, after a lengthy delay, please properly present funky breath, B.O., and bad hair for inspection at boarding. No whining allowed. After boarding, all peons must tighten their yoke and praise their protectors.