Royal Boars Gala

Never-will-be-king Charlie and wife Camilla, the Douches of Rotweiler, never-to-be-queen, are touring the US.

Married less than a year one might say this is still the "honeymoon phase" and as such they planned to tour the World Trade Center and New Orleans – to view the handiwork of America's ruling royals.

Last evening the royal foursome swapped wives at a dinner to honor Chuck and Cam; with George next to Cam and Chuck next to Laura at separate tables (standard upper crust seating arrangements).

Also attending the royal dinner were old Ma and Pa GWH Bush, Jenna, Bill Frist, Oscar de la Renta, Tom Browkaw, Merv Griffin (he's still alive?!), Chuck Leavell (Rolling Stoner), Mr. & Mrs. Dick Cheney, the two Cheney daughters, newly installed John Roberts, Nancy Reagan, and of course some of the colored help Condi Rice, Lt. Gen. Russel L. Honore, and DC mayor Anthony Williams.

The four-course menu featured celery-and-shrimp soup, buffalo medallions (no, not testicles – it's tenderloin) and salad, with petits fours and chartreuse ice cream for dessert. Afterward, there was music by Yo-Yo Ma and dancing. (No, not a rap star, Yo-Yo is a French-Chinese-American cellist.)

Charlie's toast to the diners included reminiscing of younger days when he visited Nixon at the WH, remarks on how the US and UK fought those evil Nazis together (they should, since they constructed Hitler), and noted the passing of Rosa Parks.

Charlie's tribute praised Bush, commenting on shared history and tradition, language and culture and a commitment to democracy and liberty, and closed with "truly the burden of the world rests on your shoulders." No temper tantrums were reported and no guests fled the scene.