Fuggedaboutit

New Pope a Strong Critic of Modern War. So says the headline. Enough to make me cough on my coffee. "Ratzinger offered a deep insight that included but went beyond the issue of war on Iraq: "There were not sufficient reasons to unleash a war against Iraq. To say nothing of the fact that, given the new weapons that make possible destructions that go beyond the combatant groups, today we should be asking ourselves if it is still licit to admit the very existence of a 'just war'." (Maybe he prefers older methods of war, catapults, tar, brave hearts carrying the Supreme Primate shields into battle.)

Of the early century Popes my favorites are:
John VIII, who in 882 was poisoned and clubbed to death, whose only claim to fame was the first pope to be murdered. And Stephen VII (896-897), who had the previous Pope (Formosus 891-896) dug up, dressed in pontifical garb and put on trial. After being found guilty, the body was drug through the streets and dumped in the Tiber river. Stephen himself was later imprisoned and strangled. (These were conservative popes.) Dante (Italian poet b.1265) called the Vatican a "sewer of corruption." The church had a 1200 year history of adultery, bribery, debauchery, drunkenness, fornication, incest, murder, perversion, rape, seduction, simony, sodomy, treachery. (Dante wasn't really homophobic but that's another post.)

Innocent III (1198-1216). Managed to kill more than all his predecessors and founded the Inquisition, which for over 500 hundred years was used by popes to maintain their power against those who disagreed with the Church. A tribunal of severe questioning. Either with us or against us.
Pope Julius II (1503-1513). Had a passion for war bordering on frenzy. His pontificate was a perpetual war, and Europe knew no peace during the period of his life. Julius, high-tailed it out of Italy to avoid assassination attempts ordered by Pope Alexander VI (Lucrezia's daddy), and lived in exile for ten years until Pope Alex died. Pope Julius was known as "the warrior pope" il papa terribile. Another "art lover" he was a patron of Raphael and a close friend of Michelangelo, he commissioned Mick to paint the ceiling.
Urban VIII (1623-1644). Practiced extreme nepotism, but did commute Galileo's life sentence to one of exile in Florence.

The pope-sters of the 17th century saw themselves as innocent.
Innocent X (1644-1655). Supported the Venetians in their war against the Turks and saw the Thirty Years War end with the victory of the Protestant states.
Innocent XI (1676-1689). He supported John III (Poland's king) against the Turks. An alliance, the Holy League of the Empire that included Poland, Venice and Russia together attacked the Turks. By 1686 the alliance won Hungary and crossed the Danube and occupied Serbia in 1688.
Innocent XII (1691-1700). Spent huge sums to fight Islam.

In the 18th century popes are more merciful (clement) and blessed (benedict).
Clement XI (1700 – 1721) made the first laws against removing artwork from Rome.
Innocent XIII (1721-1724) suppressed the Jesuits as not complying with their missionary orders. (Even today Jesuits are accused of murdering presidents, causing wars, and toppling governments.)
Benedict XIII (1724-1730) believed more in spiritual ministry than political diddling.
Clement XII (1730-1740) punished those who had wrongly enriched themselves and distributed their possessions to the poor. He had the Trevi Fountain built.
Benedict XIV (1740-1758) restored the Colosseum.
Clement XIV(1769-1774) prohibited the practice of castration of singers or "castrati." Oouch, mercy mercy (women were banned from singing in the church and operas).

The 20th century sees pious popes.
Pius X (1903-1914) an extreme conservative, condemned democracy and Modernism and all innovations aimed at changing the social status quo.
Benedict XV (1914-1922). Condemned WWI but took no sides. Condemned Modernism as had Pius X.
Pius XI (1922-1939). He kept his distance from Communism, Fascism and Nazism. He set up the Vatican Radio.
Pius XII (1939-1958). Organized a program of humanitarian aide in favor of Jews and opponents of totalitarian regimes (except those in Latin America). After WWII he fought against Marxism. He ordered excavations under St. Peter's tomb and found St. Peter.
John XXIII (1958-1963). He visited the ill and the incarcerated without observing any rules or formalities. He developed the Church's ideas on social policy. His death was mourned by all and everyone still refers to him as "the good pope".
Paul VI (1963-1978). He was very interested in the problems of the peace and social justice. He increased the number of non-Italian cardinals in the Sacred College ordering part of them should come from Third World countries. He financed the construction of the famous Nervi Hall for papal audiences.
Pope John Paul 1 & 2. We know their legacies. Number 1 died abruptly in office, assassinated some believe. And number 2 accomplished little social policy change and no end to wars in his 25+ years of rule.

I guess I can count on the new Pope to issue statements of interest on social policy, erect a fountain or excavate a saint, leave singers with their testicles, and not dig up his predecessor and dump him in the river.