Saturday, August 06, 2005

Designolution

Bush's recent comments on Intelligent Design give me no grief. My offspring in their teens discussed evolution and ID at home. Back then ID was more openly the theory of "creationism" I believe. Evolution, adaptation and survival of a species, natural selection, made sense to their teen minds in search of ironclad absolutes. However, each insisted they themselves did not evolve from monkeys but would concede their parents, a sibling, a friend, or a particular teacher did. My daughter was certain her brothers were the "missing link" or had recently knuckle dragged themselves from a cave.

In hindsight they will agree it must have been an evolutionary throwback moment that made them perform ape-like behavior such as throwing dead hamsters on the balcony in December where the bodies lay until spring thaw; wearing green and white polka-dot stretch pants with glittering red high heels, folding little sister into the hide-a-bed, storing scraps from late night snacks under their bed for weeks, and peeing in the sink when the bathroom was occupied. I convinced them their survival was dependent on the theory they straighten up as no design by god was going to save them in these situations.

But they often believed firmly in Intelligent Design. They were certain intelligent design gave them free will and the brains to watch hours of MTV, drive, wear baggy pants, go to the mall, violate curfew, or not do chores on time or do them half-ass. Yet they had no doubt, having outgrown childhood "time-outs," that I was Neanderthalic (at best in the Dark Ages) to institute "you're grounded." I was often urged to enter the "modern times" where they lived, with all the other intelligent people.

Having personally suffered the torturous designs of 5 teenagers I believe had ID been taught along with evolution, I need only have chosen the opposing theory to have these 5 children argue in support of the other. Most high school children have formed stubborn opinions about everything because they absolutely know it all in the teen years, and it's almost always opposite to what parents know. They will change that solid opinion only when friends do and/or after high school.

Was it a "life force" which intelligently designed the mental strength for me to survive teens, or an evolutionary instinct for self-preservation? Or both? I'm not sure I'll ever identify what determines a parent surviving long enough to see teens evolve to be just like mom and dad.

PBU32

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