Thursday, October 04, 2007

One Freedom Ring a Ding Ding


Illinois Senator Barack Obama has finally signed the American Freedom Pledge, joining his fellow Democratic presidential candidates in encouraging the restoration of basic Constitutional principles after the battering they have taken during the Bush-Cheney era.

All the Democrats, that is, except New York Senator Hillary Clinton.

The effort to get presidential contenders to sign on the American Freedom Pledge has been promoted by organizations ranging from the Center for Constitutional Rights to Human Rights Watch, , Amnesty International USA, the Brennan Center for Justice, the Campaign to Defend the Constitution, the Electronic Frontier Foundation and True Majority.

The pledge is anything but radical. It simply asks candidates to affirm a statement that reads:

"We are Americans, and in our America we do not torture, we do not imprison people without charge or legal remedy, we do not tap people's phones and emails without a court order, and above all we do not give any President unchecked power. I pledge to fight to protect and defend the Constitution from attack by any President."

------Once signing the Freedom Pledge all contenders, using both hands, will grip the sphincter muscle of the contender next to them and chant I pledge allegiance to the flag and to the Corporatists for which it stands. After which new signers, standing in the pentagram of the Pentagon, will repeat 3 times "Money is my shepherd, I shall not want."

Upon completing the chants and releasing their grip, the contender must then nick a fingertip to draw blood with which to sign The Covenant, agreeing to never get caught tapping out hand signals in bathroom stalls, molesting pages or interns, swearing to carefully and cleanly remedy any peckertracks they leave while in office; they must swear to always be ready to take a Libby or Wyatt fall for the group when called upon, or even a nixonian fall if need be.

After bloodletting and signing the covenant – all political contenders will turn 3 times to the left, 3 times to the right, paying homage to monied interests and donors, smile - then tell the voting pissants they have power, and affirm the "American Freedom Pledge" really, really, really means a lot.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

American Freedom Pledge: Behavioral Expectations for the Chief Executive based on Core Values.

"[W]e do not", "we do not", "we do not". Oh yes we do and we will for as long as we can get away with it.

What a dumb pledge.

Kathy F.

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